I hate 2020. It\’s the worst year I can remember. Between the pandemic, the shutdown, the plunging economy, the overloaded medical system, the mask debate, and the looming elections, I can\’t remember a worse one.

And it\’s not over yet.

From doctors to politicians, all those who know what they\’re talking about, and some who don\’t, think that the coming winter will be worse. And, unlike the calendar, winter doesn\’t end with December. We\’re talking months of the 2020 misery compounded by short days, bad weather, and socially isolated winter celebrations.

How will we stay alive and slightly sane until it\’s over?

That\’s what I asked myself as I listened to the news while struggling to zip my raincoat to take the dog out in the nasty rain – after cleaning the puddle in the dining room.

Organized as always, I made a list you may find useful. If you happen to be one of those who don\’t need a social life, don\’t worry about money, and don\’t long for spring, feel free to share your recipe with us, the humans. We\’ll all think of you lovingly. As for me, this is my list.

1. Accept reality. No matter how much you wish, it wasn\’t so, this is the reality we all live in. Denying it won\’t make it go away. It will just make it harder to deal with it.
2. Get ready for more shutdowns. That\’s what happened to France, Great Britain, and others. It may happen here. Stock what you\’ll need, besides toilet paper. A generator? Your medications? Batteries? Hair dye?
3. Behave like you may have the virus, even at home. Don\’t share your cutlery, your glass, your toothbrush. Wash your hands often, and don\’t lick the kids\’ ice-cream.
4. Make a plan in case you get sick. How will you self-isolate? Who\’ll care for the kids? Walk the dog? Speak to those who\’ll have to take over.
5. Start a project and set deadlines. Whether it\’s cleaning the pantry, training the cat, or becoming vegetarian, committing to a project will make time go faster. And give you something to brag about.
6. Rest. Tired people make mistakes, get compassion fatigue, and lose touch with the joy in their life. Say no to that extra shift. Health trumps money.
7. Learn a new skill. The internet is full of online courses. You can learn anything, from dog training to poker, as you sit on your sofa. Whether it\’s photography, knitting, or getting a degree, use this time to enrich yourself.
8. Do something you enjoy every day. Watch a movie, quilt, take a hot bath. Doing something you love will lower your stress and help keep you sane.
9. Work out every day. Whether it\’s kickboxing, chair yoga, or walking the dog, working out will make you healthier, stronger, and happier.
10. Do something to make others happy. Bake a cake for your coworkers, grab some groceries to help your neighbor, or call Grandma, even if she\’s not sure who you are. Making others happy will give you purpose and joy.
11. Watch your weight. Few say it, but obesity is a substantial COVID risk factor. Not great for your heart and joints, either. If you\’re overweight, losing weight will help keep you healthy.
12. Connect with people. Call your high-school buddies, look up your old friends, send a birthday card to your ex. Connecting, even virtually, will help keep you grounded.
13. Make a plan for the winter celebrations. Avoid large gatherings. Look for alternatives: a Zoom Thanksgiving dinner, mailing stocking stuffers, meet for a hike. But if you must meet in person, don\’t go if you\’re sick, social distance, and keep the windows open.
14. List your happy memories: Your first time fishing; your son\’s graduation; your wedding (or your divorce). Make a list and put it on the fridge for those pesky low days.
15. Stay in touch with your doctor. No matter who says what, your doctor wants you to be well. If for no other reason, because they\’re already overworked. Follow their instructions, take your medications, and call them if you\’re having trouble.
16. Take time for yourself. Find a couple of hours every week to check on your inner self. Are you hanging from a thread? If you\’re losing it, seek help. It\’s not wimpy. It\’s smart.
17. Turn off the news. No matter what, half of us will feel broken after the elections. There\’s no point in rubbing salt in the wound – yours or others\’. If you lose, remember that that\’s democracy. Everybody\’s vote counts. In four years, you\’ll get a redo. If you win, remember that so many are mourning. Don\’t be a sore winner. Let them grieve.
18. Wear a mask. It will protect you not only from COVID but also from the flu and pesky colds. The flu season is here, and the flu sucks. You\’ll be even more miserable if you get sick.
19. Be kind to others. Most people aren\’t evil. Their mistakes are born of ignorance, anger, or hurt, and we can all use some learning.
20. Finally, remember that this too shall pass.

Good luck, stay safe, and stay sane. As always, I can\’t wait to hear from you.

Rada

Rada Jones is an ER doc in Upstate NY, where she lives with her husband and his deaf black cat Paxil. She is the author of three ER thrillers, Overdose, Mercy and Poison, and “Stay Away From My ER,” a collection of medical essays.

Some say 2020 is the year of disasters. Others say it\’s the year of change. To me, 2020 is the year of rage. In 2020, rage overtook the world, consuming us and hurling the leftovers against each other.

The right is angry with the left. The social distancers are angry with the beach-goers. The mask wearers are angry with the mask haters. The protesters are angry with the system.

Like a lid on a boiling pot, the lockdown intensified the pressure. The upcoming elections turned up the heat, spurring strangers to feud on social media, destroying old friendships,  and making loving families spew hate over the dinner table.

What does that mean for us, the healers, who already struggle with a failing medical system, COVID, the lockdown, the lack of PPE, the racism, and the riots?

First, we must recognize that we are not immune. Whether you\’re black or white, Democrat or Republican, female or male, and whether you see it or not, you are likely infected with the rage devouring us all. Denying your anger won\’t make it go away. It will only make it harder to manage. Whether you see it or not, the endless string of bad news shortened your fuse too.

And unlike others who may have the luxury of time, you and I live and work on the front line. We can\’t retreat to consult our inner wisdom and get in touch with our feelings before we act. In our line of business, we need to be ready for whatever comes through the door, whether it\’s codes, traumas, or angry people.

Patients are anxious and worried. They hate to wait; they loathe the mask; they become impatient, unreasonable, sometimes violent. They want their family. They ask for a COVID test for their sprained ankle. They request hydroxychloroquine with the Z-pak they need for their cough.

Nurses are angry. They\’re exhausted. They go home to home–school after their shift, instead of sleeping. Their spouse got furloughed, their mortgage is due, and they worry about their mom in the nursing home. They\’re tired of dealing with angry patients. And it\’s just so damn hot under all that PPE.

Doctors are angry. They\’re exhausted by fighting COVID and reusing their PPE; they\’ve had enough of avoiding their family for fear of getting them sick; they\’re enraged by seeing their hours cut, the unpaid mandates piling up and their vacation plans fall apart.

Your family is angry too. They\’ve had enough of social distancing and being cooped in the house. The kids got the heebie-jeebies and want to be out with their friends. Your spouse is tired of home-schooling them, watching bad news on TV, and eating in.

So, in this world consumed by anger, how can you manage to stay calm and professional and keep everybody safe?

1. Recognize your anger, so you can manage it before it blows up on the floor, taking your career and your reputation with it.
2. Get enough rest. It\’s hard to be professional with the patient asking for a Viagra script in the middle of a code when you\’re tired.
3. Don\’t postpone your bathroom breaks. Rushing to see patient after patient on a full bladder will make you resentful and shorten your fuse.
4. Don\’t go \’hangry.\’ Plan ahead. Smoothies, fruit, string cheese–whatever you can manage. Not coffee. Coffee is not food. It\’s life, but not food.
5. Take a time-out when you feel you\’re losing it, even if it\’s taking a two minutes walk to the furthest bathroom.
6. Don\’t say yes to unreasonable requests, like bad shift changes, giving medical advice in the elevator or writing scripts you know you shouldn\’t. Decline, and move on, otherwise your frustration will catch up with you.
7. Practice circular breathing, meditation, or relaxation.
8. Work out—the harder, the better. Kickboxing works for me, but running, hiking, or biking will do. Get rid of that adrenaline.
9. Laugh. Laughing diffuses tension and softens lousy situations, and not many situation are so bad that you can\’t laugh at them. And it\’s good for the soul.
10. Talk to a friend, a spouse, or a coach. Investing in a career/life coach can be cost-effective. A few years ago, when I struggled with burnout, I hired a coach. I paid for six sessions, but I only needed four. Work got easier, life got better, and I recovered my smile.
11. Do things that nourish your soul. Not the news or violent movies. Make a date with yourself: visit a museum, plant a tree, play the violin, take a photography class, go parasailing.
12. Play. With the kids, the dog, your significant other. Playing brings back the child in you and brings light to the darkness inside.
13. Practice compassion and gratitude. Remember how lucky you are to be who you are and have what you have.
14. Recheck your malpractice. The time of healthcare workers being heroes is about to be over. Before long, we\’ll be talking about how the medical system failed us. Cynical, I know. But bad things happen to good people. Be prepared.
15. Ask for help before it\’s too late. Healthcare professionals, especially women, have high rates of divorce, substance abuse, and suicide. Yes, it\’s the stress of the job, but it\’s also because we\’re so bad at asking for help.
16. Cut yourself some slack and reward yourself for good behavior. Be proud for keeping calm, and don\’t berate yourself for losing it. Learn something and move on.  You\’re only human, after all.

Finally, remember that this too shall pass. Hold on to the things you cherish: your family, your career, your sanity, and wait for the times to change. Because they will.

Rada Jones is an ER doc in Upstate NY. She lives with her husband and his deaf black cat Paxil. She is the author of three ER thrillers, Overdose, Mercy and Poison, and “Stay Away From My ER,” a collection of medical essays.

A version of this essay was previously published on Doximity.com.

1. Both masks and underwear exist to contain badness. Neither works 100%, but they\’ll curb the worst of the spill.
2. Don\’t borrow someone else’s, no matter how cool they look.
3. Keep them on around strangers, unless you’ve both been tested.
4. Cotton breathes better than polyester.
5. If they don\’t fit well, you\’ll be chaffing.
6. Wear them both when you visit grandma.
7. They stink at the end of the day.  They need frequent washing.
8. They\’re affordable and a worthwhile investment.
9. The lighter they are, the better you breathe.
10. Adjusting them in public is a no-no.
11. They\’ll cover your cold sores and droopy assets, making you more attractive.
12. Taking them off counts as foreplay.
13. They\’ll cover the drools and the drips.
14. You shouldn\’t stick your nose out of either.
15. They won\’t silence you. From MAGA to BLM, they help with your self-expression.
16. They cover revealing body language: your mask hides your smirk, your underwear hides it whenever your flag rises to salute foreign territories.
17. If you\’re looking for extra excitement, you can get them see-through.
18. They help block bad smells.
19. It\’s always a good plan to have a spare.
20. For both: cleaner is better.
21. They showcase your personality. Granny’s whites are to red lace thongs what an N95 is to a gauzy rainbow.
22. They only work if you wear them.
23. In extreme situations, you can switch.
24. In 2020, they\’re both highly recommended.
25. It feels wonderful to take them off at the end of the day.

BUT: 

1. While nobody cares about your undies, everybody cares about your mask.
2. Mask are more effective than undies as fashion statements.
3. Your undies never saved a life.
4. It\’s hard to make a political statement by underwear alone.
5. Your undies are for yourself, but your mask is mainly for the others.

Rada Jones is an ER doc in Upstate NY. She authored three ER thrillers, Overdose, Mercy and Poison, and “Stay Away From My ER,” a collection of medical essays.

1. Both masks and underwear exist to contain badness. Neither works 100%, but they\’ll curb the worst of the spill.
2. Don\’t borrow someone else’s, no matter how cool they look.
3. Keep them on around strangers, unless you’ve both been tested.
4. Cotton breathes better than polyester.
5. If they don\’t fit well, you\’ll be chaffing.
6. Wear them both when you visit grandma.
7. They stink at the end of the day.  They need frequent washing.
8. They\’re affordable and a worthwhile investment.
9. The lighter they are, the better you breathe.
10. Adjusting them in public is a no-no.
11. They\’ll cover your cold sores and droopy assets, making you more attractive.
12. Taking them off counts as foreplay.
13. They\’ll cover the drools and the drips.
14. You shouldn\’t stick your nose out of either.
15. They won\’t silence you. From MAGA to BLM, they help with your self-expression.
16. They cover revealing body language: your mask hides your smirk, your underwear hides it whenever your flag rises to salute foreign territories.
17. If you\’re looking for extra excitement, you can get them see-through.
18. They help block bad smells.
19. It\’s always a good plan to have a spare.
20. For both: cleaner is better.
21. They showcase your personality. Granny’s whites are to red lace thongs what an N95 is to a gauzy rainbow.
22. They only work if you wear them.
23. In extreme situations, you can switch.
24. In 2020, they\’re both highly recommended.
25. It feels wonderful to take them off at the end of the day.

BUT: 

1. While nobody cares about your undies, everybody cares about your mask.
2. Mask are more effective than undies as fashion statements.
3. Your undies never saved a life.
4. It\’s hard to make a political statement by underwear alone.
5. Your undies are for yourself, but your mask is mainly for the others.

Rada Jones is an ER doc in Upstate NY. She authored three ER thrillers, Overdose, Mercy and Poison, and “Stay Away From My ER,” a collection of medical essays.

1. Both masks and underwear exist to contain badness. Neither works 100%, but they\’ll curb the worst of the spill.
2. Don\’t borrow someone else’s, no matter how cool they look.
3. Keep them on around strangers, unless you’ve both been tested.
4. Cotton breathes better than polyester.
5. If they don\’t fit well, you\’ll be chaffing.
6. Wear them both when you visit grandma.
7. They stink at the end of the day.  They need frequent washing.
8. They\’re affordable and a worthwhile investment.
9. The lighter they are, the better you breathe.
10. Adjusting them in public is a no-no.
11. They\’ll cover your cold sores and droopy assets, making you more attractive.
12. Taking them off counts as foreplay.
13. They\’ll cover the drools and the drips.
14. You shouldn\’t stick your nose out of either.
15. They won\’t silence you. From MAGA to BLM, they help with your self-expression.
16. They cover revealing body language: your mask hides your smirk, your underwear hides it whenever your flag rises to salute foreign territories.
17. If you\’re looking for extra excitement, you can get them see-through.
18. They help block bad smells.
19. It\’s always a good plan to have a spare.
20. For both: cleaner is better.
21. They showcase your personality. Granny’s whites are to red lace thongs what an N95 is to a gauzy rainbow.
22. They only work if you wear them.
23. In extreme situations, you can switch.
24. In 2020, they\’re both highly recommended.
25. It feels wonderful to take them off at the end of the day.

BUT: 

1. While nobody cares about your undies, everybody cares about your mask.
2. Mask are more effective than undies as fashion statements.
3. Your undies never saved a life.
4. It\’s hard to make a political statement by underwear alone.
5. Your undies are for yourself, but your mask is mainly for the others.

Rada Jones is an ER doc in Upstate NY. She authored three ER thrillers, Overdose, Mercy and Poison, and “Stay Away From My ER,” a collection of medical essays.

1. Take it easy. The worst part of all this is the fear. More people die from the flu, car accidents, or guns. As of Saturday, March 7th, 19 Americans had died from Covid19, compared to 1177 every week from the flu, 746 from car crashes, and 294 from gunshots.

2. Wash your hands like your life depends on it. Because it does. Not only for Corona, but for the many germs you’ll acquire from touching elevator buttons, doorknobs, or somebody else’s hand. Or the dirtiest thing on earth: money: Everybody handles it, and nobody washes it. Except for the mob. And me, when I forget it in my pockets.

3. Stay home if you’re sick. Same with your children.

4. Disinfect frequently touched surfaces: Shared pens. Door handles. Water taps and toilet flushes.

5. Avoid meetings and crowded spaces, especially those hard to leave from, like planes, conferences, and churches.

6. If you want to chill with your friends, go outside: go skiing, hiking or skating rather than bowling, clubbing or the movies. More fresh air and fewer germs.

7. Cough and sneeze in your elbow or shoulder or in a tissue, not in your hand.

8. Stay away from those who sneeze, cough, or look sick.

9. Vaccinate. There’s no vaccine for Corona yet, I know. Still, more people have died from flu this year than they did from Corona all over the world.

10. If you have a fever and body aches, take Motrin or Tylenol, stay home and call your doctor.

11. Don’t touch your face or pick your nose. It only contains what it always does, boogers. But if you must, at least wash your hands first. And after.

12. Keep well hydrated with water, Gatorade, or the fluid of your choice. Note: Corona beer isn’t named after the virus, isn’t infused with it, and it won’t give you the disease. Unless you share the bottle with somebody who’s sick.

13. Remember that, unless you’re old and ill, you’ll likely recover fully, even if you catch it. Better odds than for bike crashes, bad investments, and fights with your spouse.

14. Make sure you have advanced directives. This isn’t about Corona. It’s about being prepared and in control of your life no matter what happens.

15. Rest, relax, and live healthily. Stress, lack of sleep, poor nutrition, and poor hygiene will weaken your immune system. Get enough sleep, eat well, and wash your hands. Again.

Don\’t: 

1. Don’t shake hands. You don’t know where their hands have been, and you don’t want to get whatever they acquired there. Smile instead.

2. Don’t eat, drink or scratch your face if you haven’t just washed your hands really well with water, soap, and enthusiasm. Wash them like the toilet paper was too thin.

3. Don’t visit all-you-can-eat buffets, and don’t try food samples. Remember the celebrity who licked a doughnut then put it back? She’s not the only one. Sitting by the table of a buffet dinner cured me of buffet dinners. The things people do when they think nobody’s watching will make you shudder.

4. Don’t share masks.

5. Don’t go visit grandma in the nursing home if you have the sniffles. Call her instead.

6. Don’t go to the ER unless you’re deathly ill, immunocompromised, or really bored. You’ll spend a long time there, get loads of rotten looks, get irradiated, and get a hefty bill to pay, plus everybody else’s germs. The one thing you’re unlikely to get is a straight answer since testing kits are still hard to come by.

7. Don’t eat things that aren’t supposed to be eaten. Avoid pangolin, bats, civet cats, and bush meat. Avoid socializing with them too.

8. Don’t expect a Corona vaccine before next year. Vaccines take a long time to develop, because: 1) They need to work. 2) They need to be safe. That takes time and testing.

9. Don’t have unprotected sex. Not Corona specific, other than sharing body fluids, but it’s good advice. Other viruses like HIV and Herpes, also Syphilis, Chlamydia, and their other friends are looking for a loving host. Don’t let it be you.

10. Don’t call the ER to ask if they’re busy. They’re busy. Even if they weren’t, they wouldn’t give medical advice by phone. Call your doctor, and wait for them to call back. They will, as soon as they catch up with the sick and the many worried-well.

11. Don’t rub yourself all over with garlic. That’s not for Corona, that’s for vampires. Though, if you eat raw garlic, most people are likely to keep their viruses away from you.

12. Don’t share an ice cream cone, water bottles, or cutlery. Don’t let people taste your food, and don’t try theirs, no matter how good it looks.

13. Don’t drink bleach. It won’t help. Unless you inhale it, bleach goes to your stomach, while the virus targets your lungs. It will hurt, A LOT, as it burns your throat.

14. Don’t believe all the stuff you read on social media. Misinformation has become an infodemic.

15. Don’t share it either. Prayer is good for the soul, but it’s unlikely to destroy the virus. Corona is not a hoax, a democratic ploy, or a biological weapon released by the Chinese. It’s not invented by vaccine companies to make money. Otherwise, they’d sell it to you now. Elderberry, vitamins of any persuasion, or getting exorcised are unlikely to help. Wash your hands.

Rada Jones MD is an Emergency Doc in Upstate NY, where winters are long, people are sturdy, and the geese speak mainly French. She lives with her husband, Steve, and his black deaf cat Paxil. She’s the author of three ER thrillers: OVERDOSE, MERCY, and POISON, and a collection of tongue-in-cheek medical essays, Stay Away From My ER. Find more at RadaJonesMD.com.

Stay away from my ER: An excerpt. 

I’m an ER doc. I care for patients. All patients: Those who need to be in the ER; those who don’t; those who wouldn’t be there if they knew better. For them, for you and for fun, I’ve got some tips to keep you happy, safe and away from my ER. Enjoy.

1. Never, ever say “hold my beer and watch this!” Besides “I do!” they are the most dangerous words ever spoken. They’re a harbinger of disaster worse than “Winter is coming.” They have their own section on YouTube – great watch after a rough day. They’re better than kittens. Still, hold on to your beer.
2. NEVER drink and drive. It’s obvious, but it’s obviously not obvious enough. As per CDC, in 2016, 10,497 people died in alcohol-impaired driving crashes, accounting for 28% of all traffic-related deaths in the US. They’re still counting 2018.
3. Same with drugs. Any drugs. Legal, illegal, yours, or borrowed. Except for Tylenol. And Motrin. They’re OK.
4. Don’t tell your significant other that your life is no longer worth living, just to upset them. If they call 911, EMS will bring you to me. I’ll keep you until you’re legally sober if it takes a week.  By the time you’re sober, got your evaluation and went home, your significant other has had a chance to enjoy life without you. Speak wisely.
5. Shoveling the roof is overrated. Especially in winter. It comes with broken heels, fractured backs, and ER trips. The roof is for the birds.  And cats. You’re human. Stay on the ground.
6. Your motorcycle? The one you love? I love them too, but I sold mine. My first MCA patient came by ambulance. His leg followed in another car. I’ll get a motorcycle when I get terminal cancer. For now, I’ll stick with my car. Not your thing? At least wear a helmet.
7. Do not, I repeat, do not, stick your hand in your snowblower to clean it. You may never be able to play the guitar or tie your shoes again, and it may put a damper on your loving.  Yourself or others
8. If you’ve been coughing for a week and you smoke, go buy honey. Don’t come to the ER unless you have a fever, you’re short of breath or you have chest pain. You’ll cough for at least three weeks. There’s nothing I can do to stop that unless I kill you. That will stop your cough, but it’s illegal.
9. Your twelve-years-of-God-awful-back-pain? Unless something’s really different today, the ER is not the place for it.Especially now, that Percocet has become a 4-letter word. You’ll wait, and wait. You’ll get a lot of rotten looks and a script for ibuprofen — 600 mg every 6hrs — or acetaminophen — 650 mg every 6hrs. That’s Motrin and Tylenol. Go get them over the counter, and don’t overdose.
10. If you have an appointment with your doctor, don’t cancel it to come to the ER instead because you’re too sick to see your doctor. Unless your doctor is Dr. Seuss, Dr. Pepper or a plastic surgeon, caring for sick people is what your doctor does. Keep your appointments.
11. Don’t separate fighting dogs with your bare hands. Dogs can handle dog bites better than you can. They come from wolves. We come from monkeys. We’re out of their league. Stay out of it or use a prop.
12. Don’t throw gasoline on an open flame unless you’re looking for a Brazilian wax.
13. NEVER EVER stand around minding your own business. It’s one of the most dangerous things known to man. 90% of my assault victims were doing just that.

STAY AWAY FROM MY ER, and other fun bits of wisdom is a collection of my rants medical humor essays, previously published on my website, KevinMD, and Doximity, and reproduced  – usually with permission – on other venues.

People are again dropping like flies in Dr. Steele\’s ER. She is facing another string of unexplained deaths, but this time it\’s even harder.

Why? Because she doesn\’t mind seeing them dead.

They are the worst of the worst: wife beaters, child abusers, pet killers, and downright psychopaths that the law failed to punish. Even worse, it fails to protect their innocent victims. Can this be God\’s work? Did God get busy cleaning their community of evil? Emma doesn\’t think so.

She finds the answer disturbingly near. It isn\’t God; it\’s a human, way too close for comfort. As she struggles to decide, she finds herself engaged in the fight of her life to protect everything she holds dear. Will she destroy the evil, or will it crush her first?

This is an excerpt from POISON, an ER thriller.

“Put me down. Put me down, you motherfuckers. I’m gonna kill you all. Every one of you. I’m going to stab you in your sleep. Put me down!”

The kid was tied to the stretcher, his hands cuffed in front of him. The EMTs pushed the gurney. The police officers walked behind, their heads low.

Really? Cuff a kid? What’s he? Nine? Ten? That looks like overkill.

Judy came in just as Emma finished sewing.

“The kid.”

“Yes.”

“We need to sedate him.”

“Will he take a pill?”

“No. He ripped apart the mattress. He’s now hitting his head against the wall.

“Give him 5 of Haldol IM. Make sure he’s not allergic.”

Judy left. The closed door muffled the screams, making them even eerier.

“Let me go, you fuckers. I’m going to kill you all. And your babies. And your mothers. And your cats.”

The Haldol didn’t touch him. He peeled the paint off the walls, put it in his mouth, then spit it against the door.

“This young man has issues,” Emma said. “What happened at home?”

The police officer was a former EMT. “Hello, Dr. Steele. His mother called us. He killed the cat.”

“He killed the cat?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“He stabbed her with a knife.”

“Wow! That’s different.”

“Not for him. Last week he set the dog on fire. He poured gasoline on him and lit him up.”

Emma felt sick.

“The mother called us because he threatened to kill the baby.”

The urge to vomit became overwhelming.

“Excuse me.” She rushed to the bathroom to splash cold water over her face. Something is wrong with this kid. No normal kid would set the dog on fire or stab the cat. What the heck do I do with him?

The speakers called her before she could figure it out.

“Dr. Steele to Room 1. Code 99. Code 99 Room 1.”

The code in Room 1 looked familiar. She leaned over to see him better.

“It’s yesterday’s drunk driver,” George said, looking up from the IV he was placing. Joe continued CPR.

One hour and many procedures later, the patient was still dead. Police came.

“I thought you took him into custody?” Emma asked.

“We did. They let him out yesterday.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “The judge did. His lawyer got him out on bail.”

After he left, George and Emma looked at each other.

George shrugged. “God’s work.”

“I don’t know, George. It’s getting hairy. I’m not that religious. It’s hard to believe that, suddenly, God decided to fix our community. We need to look into what’s happening.”

George disagreed. “We’re not the police. It’s not our job.” He glanced around, checking that nobody listened. “Listen, this guy already killed two people—his mother, and the kiddo the other day. Maybe the kid’s mother too. We don’t even know yet. He was a danger to society. The world is better without him.”

Emma couldn’t disagree, but she couldn’t pretend that nothing had happened. The screams coming out of Room 6 reminded her. The kid. He had set the dog on fire, stabbed the cat, and threatened to kill the baby.

What if the world was better without him too?

Rada Jones MD  is an Emergency Physician in Upstate NY where she lives with her husband, Steve, and his deaf black cat, Paxil. POISON is Book 3 in her ER thriller series following OVERDOSE and MERCY.

People are dropping like flies in Dr. Emma Steele\’s ER, and nobody knows why. A new disease? Medication errors? Poisoned oxygen? She must find out, even though her job is in peril, her daughter disappeared, and she\’d rather be home, drinking wine.

A mercy killer? But why would he kill a healthy patient? Are they framing her nurses? Or herself? A patient dies by stolen medications, her orders are corrupted by lethal mistakes and her nurse is killed. What happens to her daughter is worse than death.

Dr. Steele risks her career and her life to stop the murders. She gets closer and closer to the answers. Until she gets too close.

Angel

I love kids.

Pretty kids. Nice kids. Normal kids.

Not this. This is not a kid.

This is thirty pounds of human flesh kept alive by devices. Peg tube, trach, vent.

He’s got contractures everywhere. He’s so folded he’d fit in my carry on. Not that I’d want to take him anywhere.

I check his chart. Evan. He’s twelve. He can’t see, he can’t talk, he can’t eat, he can’t breathe.

What’s the point of being alive? If you call this alive. He doesn’t know he’s alive. He can’t think.

Can he feel? Let’s find out.

I stick a #18 needle in his heel.

He pulls away and tries to scream. He can’t. He snorts.

He feels pain. That sucks. I wouldn’t have my dog live like this! Any dog! And he’s human, if only in name.

I look around. They’re busy.

I turn off the alarms and I detach his tracheostomy from the vent. I cover it with my palm, pretending I’m cleaning it. I wait for the heart to stop.

It takes forever.

I reconnect the vent and leave.

Bye-bye, Evan. If they ask, tell them Carlos sent you!

This excerpt is from MERCY, Book 2 of the ER Crimes, the Steele Files. Book 1 is OVERDOSE, and Book 3 is POISON.  Find out more at RadaJonesMD.com

My second thriller in the ER crimes, MERCY, was the hardest one to write. Like every middle child, it got ignored a lot.

OVERDOSE came out with a bang. I obsessed on it like a mother on her first child. Nothing else mattered. I made sure no harm would come to it. I combed through it again and again. I changed my mind a hundred times. About the title. About the cover. About the narrator. I put it out for preorder three months early. I reviewed it seven times. I marketed its every coma.

I thought it would be my only book.

I was wrong.

The morning after I published it, I found myself wondering what happened next. Where did my characters go? What did they do? What happened to Emma? To Taylor? To Umber?

I had to find out, so I looked for the sequel. There was none. I had to write it.

I sat down with my old friends, looking for the answers.

The beginning was easy. I knew the characters. I knew the place – did I know the place! I knew the problems. I started writing. It was like going home after a nasty shift and telling your spouse stories about your day.

It took about fifty pages for things to turn bad. I was running in circles. Nothing was happening. I didn\’t know how to make it happen. I was stuck.

That\’s what they call the sagging middle. It\’s an affliction common to writers and beer lovers. Not to me. I don\’t drink beer. Like Emma, I drink wine.

I muddled through the doldrums, struggling to put down my fifteen hundred words a day, no matter what. I wrote things I didn\’t want to read. Even I found it boring.

Then, all of a sudden, it came to me. I knew who had to die. I just had to kill them. The end was fun. The fights were awesome. I went back to the beginning to plant the seeds, making everything fall into place. I made the villains worse and the heroes better. I wrote in old memories: the rocking chair, the dog leash, the knife. Even the fries.

What was the best part? Getting my old friend, Gypsy, back.  I\’ve been hurting since she left us. Having her back, even if only on the page, gave me solace.

The worst part? Emma had to suffer. A lot. Looking back into your pain isn\’t easy. It hurt her and it hurt me. But it made Mercy a better book.

The first draft finally over, I put Mercy away to ripen.

Since I had to have something to do, I wrote Poison. That was a joy to write from the beginning to the end. I pushed Emma and Taylor even harder. The greatest surprise was Amber. She became real, threatened, and human. And, in case you never played computer games, so you don\’t know, killing villains is a lot of fun.

So, since play is play and work is work, I put Poison away and I got back to Mercy. Like every neglected child, it misbehaved. The sagging middle kept sagging, so I had to operate. In case you don\’t know, I\’m not a surgeon.

I cut out the boring parts.

It got too short.

I cut out the slow transitions and unnecessary words.

It got rough and hard to follow.

I started over. I smoothed the corners, softened the transitions, killed a few more. It looked like I was on my way.

Six drafts later, we got there.

The heroes are heroic. The villains suck.

The ER is still the ER. Traumas, dramas, codes, JCAHO. They can\’t have drinks on their desks, they don\’t get time to pee, and they\’re pissed with the administrators. By the way: Any resemblance to real places or real people is purely coincidental, OK?

I hope Mercy gives you joy. Thank you for reading it. If you love it, please leave a stellar review. It makes all the difference in the world. If you don\’t, pretend it never happened.

Rada Jones MD is an Emergency Doc in Upstate NY. She lives with her husband Steve and his deaf black cat Paxil. She authored ER thrillers: OVERDOSE, MERCY, and POISON. Find more at RadaJonesMD.com